Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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