i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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