Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
