Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
