I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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