Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
