Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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