ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
