I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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