definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
