I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
