I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
