Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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