Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
