11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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