It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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