I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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