I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You were trust falling into bushes
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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