i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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