That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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