How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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