Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
