so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize