I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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