I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize