Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
