I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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