she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
