If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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