It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am naked and annoyed.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
