are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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