tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
