I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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