Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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