Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
