Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
