Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
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Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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