420 ftw
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
