we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize