Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
