shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
