Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
