Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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