New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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