i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
