You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
