i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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