On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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