: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize