Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
