I think my fart just growled at me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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