I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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