party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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