Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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