the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
