the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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