I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
