Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I still have a little drunk in my system
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
