so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
